There are a few things I could write about here, but I don’t know what to choose. So I’m turning to you, the reader, for help!
Voting ends…whenever I say it ends. Thanks in advance!
I Hate Cable TV: A Rant
07
Aug
I haven’t subscribed to cable in at least six years. Surely you have heard the relatively new saying, “100 channels and nothing to watch”. If you ask me, it’s mostly true and has been for at least the past few years. Back in the day, cable was where you turned if you wanted options that the Big Three or local independent stations didn’t offer– reruns of old sitcoms, movies, artsy stuff, breaking news. There was variety, and channels had a strong sense of identity.
Some networks had to join up to survive, though. For example, ARTS and The Entertainment Channel, two niche channels that struggled on their own, merged to become A&E, which is still around today. Fun fact: In many places, ARTS/A&E shared channel space with Nickelodeon until 1985 when Nick at Nite was launched. I have always found that funny.
Anyway, look at how many networks have strayed from their original purpose. Why don’t we start with A&E? They used to be kind of like a cable version of PBS– it was about arts and entertainment. Nowadays? Well…I guess they’ve got the “entertainment” part covered (depending on who you ask).
Nick at Nite? The oldest show they air is the Cosby Show, which I admit is now getting on in years, but it wasn’t when they started airing it in 2002. Instead of classic sitcoms, they air mostly 90s shows, which are definitely not that old. They even air shows from the 2000s. It’s not like these shows aren’t aired anywhere else, either– they are. I distinctly remember seeing reruns of Fresh Prince on no less than three different channels on the same damn night. I don’t know anybody that likes Fresh Prince THAT much.
TV Land has also slipped. When it first launched, it was possibly one of the coolest cable networks ever– old shows AND old commercials. Now they, too, show a bunch of 90s/2000s sitcoms, plus the Cosby Show (seriously?!). Apparently they are also trying some original sitcoms now, which is fine. I guess.
Enough about that. Let’s talk about commercials now. I may love old commercials to death, but I fucking loathe and despise recent ones. Sure, there are a few good ones every now and again (the recent Old Spice campaign, Red Stripe Beer). But most of the time, they’re loud, irritating, occasionally offensive, and they try to sell me Shit I Don’t Need, when all I want to do is relax and watch a damn TV show in peace. This, coupled with the high monthly subscription cost, are the two biggest reasons I don’t want cable.
Also, infomercials. Sometimes they’re good for a laugh, but if you already pay money for cable, and have to sit through commercials during the shows you watch, then why can’t you watch an actual TV show if you happen to be up at 3, 4, or 5 AM? Why the hell do they need infomercials?
And finally, shameless self-promotion, the giant animated promos in the corner of the screen, and credit-squashing. It really ruins everything. What if I actually want to hear the end credits song? Do I really need to be told 85 times DURING THE FUCKING SHOW that there’s a new episode of The Closer or some other bullshit show I wasn’t interested in to begin with? No wonder people can’t pay any goddamned attention to anything these days.
I admit that most of these problems can be solved with DVR technology. However, if I’m gonna pay 50+ bucks per month for that “convenience”, I can skip the whole mess altogether, and just subscribe to Netflix and buy a DVD boxset once in a while. I can watch what I want, when I want. And that’s exactly what I do. So suck it, cable TV.
Thoughts on Houses and Homes
06
Aug
Okay, so this is kinda far-removed from my usual range of topics here, but inspiration struck me, and the muse should never be ignored. I was planning on branching out anyway, so now’s as good a time as any!
I was inspired by this article that talks about the trend of treating houses as nothing more than an investment, and therefore designing them with that in mind. Maybe I should put “designing” in quotes because what many people do to these homes doesn’t exactly fall under “design”.
Ever seen any of the shows on HGTV? Some of them are good fun. I particularly like Divine Design, because I like the host/designer’s personality and her design work ain’t bad either. But what are most of the other shows about? Selling and buying homes. And what do they always do? Spend thousands and thousands of dollars to “upgrade” so that the home will sell the instant you put it on the market. Wait, what?
When and why did people start to form this idea of “flipping” houses and selling their own home when the value hits some magical number? It’s like playing some kind of high-stakes game, only you’re gambling with your home and possibly your financial future. I have never gotten on that train of thought and I will tell you a few reasons why.
Maybe I’m a bit of a romantic, but I think the home should be a sacred place, a sanctuary in which you can retreat from the problems of the day. It’s kind of hard to do that when you’re always worrying about how much the place is worth in dollars. I don’t think the dollar value should matter so much. What matters (to me) is how well the house can serve as a good home. If you’re going to spend thousands of dollars “upgrading” a place, then why not do it for yourself, for your happiness, and to your tastes? It’s your house while you’re living in it.
Also, I am sick, sick, sick of seeing people on TV destroy perfectly fine (and beautiful) vintage bathrooms, kitchens, etc. all for the sake of a sale, or just to be “modern”. Be practical– if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Not to mention how environmentally unfriendly it is to be dumping all those pink tiles and toilets in some landfill somewhere. I guess if it’s your home, and you’re going to be living there, then sure, do what makes you happy. But after you rip them out, at least give them to someone who wants them!
One of my dreams is to someday own a mid-century home and decorate it true to the period, so it always breaks my heart that people look at those homes and go “eww this is old”, since apparently at some point “old” became synonymous with “bad”. They don’t see the character or uniqueness– they just see that it’s “old” and needs to be replaced with granite. Why the hell is granite so desirable, anyways? Because it’s hip, or because people actually like it?
Anyway, I guess I just want to see some kind of return to practicality, instead of all this “bigger is better”, “movin’ on up”, “keeping up with the Joneses” nonsense. If you have to move, you have to move, but moving just for the sake of making a buck or having more space (to fill with shit you probably don’t need)? Really?
On a side note, I can’t stand these people you see on shows like House Hunters. “Omigod, this house, like, totally doesn’t have a closet the size of a small bedroom.” “I’m single and live alone but I TOTALLY need a 4-bedroom 3-bathroom house in the suburbs. But it also has to be right next door to my job and my friends!” “These fans and light fixtures are SOOOOOOO tacky, and I don’t like the paint.” I have one thing to say to all of these people: Get over yourselves.
Warning: Incoming Snark
01
Jul
(I made this myself; feel free to steal and repost to your heart’s content.)